Who’s Making Love?

by | Mar 31, 2021 | Essays on Awakening

Sex and Spirituality

We’re going to look at a true issue in our community, which almost never gets addressed. It’s the issue of sexuality and spirituality and how we think of love.

Religion addresses sexuality through morals and we’ve now all seen through that. Culture also address sexuality and as our respective cultures address it, our definitions of sex and sexuality change and what’s considered appropriate changes. In ancient Greece, sexuality had completely different meanings and relationships than it does now. First, let’s look at the idea of “making love” because the problem of calling it “making love” is a core issue in our community.

The Persians have many names for different kinds of love, just like the Eskimos have different names for different kinds of snow. If you don’t use the names the Eskimos use to distinguish between varieties of snow, then you just see snow. But if you have all these fine distinctions, you see something deeper and more complex. Let’s imagine we had a different name for the love between: a mother and a child, siblings, lovers, and secret lovers, which the Persians have. If we had a different name for all the different qualities of what we call loving relationships, that would bring enormous clarity. But we have all of these varied expressions of love lumped into the generic word “love.”

The idea of “making love” came out of the 1960s, as many of you on this call did, and if you didn’t, you know about it. We had “free love” and “make love, not war,” and we did and I did. We all made love with each other. Except what was really made was pleasure—we all had a lot of pleasure—it felt good. Babies and families often came out of this “love making,” and almost always suffering. No love was made, just: pleasure, babies, families, and suffering.

Why is that, if we were “making love,” we weren’t living loving lives? Why weren’t we living in happiness and love if we were “making love” all the time? Maybe we weren’t making love. I asked my teacher, Papaji: “What’s the purpose of sex?” He said: “To make babies,” and I said: “Well, why does it feel so good?” He said: “So you’ll do it.” This is so simple, clear, and true.

We are all run by our genes. What you find pleasant and unpleasant is genetic. What you like, what you don’t like, what you’re attracted to, and the desire to make babies—is all genetic. Genes are programmed to pass on. Your body is mortal, but your genes are relatively immortal; the genes that are living in each of your cells have been passed down since the cosmic sea, since the one-celled creatures. It’s the same DNA, and it grows, changes, and modifies, but it’s fundamentally the same. DNA has this impulse to reproduce and our bodies are the vehicles for the reproduction of DNA.

Why is it that it feels so good? So that you’ll do it. And why is it that when we make love, when we have sex, there’s a bonding that can happen? In my experience, in the moment of orgasm, there’s openness—you’re blown open in that moment. When both partners are blown open, there’s a possibility of emotional limbic bonding. When a limbic bond happens, we call it “falling in love.”

When you fall in love with someone, you’re not falling in love with the person that’s there—you’re falling in love with your projection onto that person. What do you see? You see their beauty. You see whatever it is that you love: their body, personality, or charm. Whatever it is you find lovable and attractive is what you see. You’ve also had the experience of the “other” person showing up after falling in love wears off. And you had no idea that there’s someone else here with different ideas, different attitudes, different beliefs, and different tastes, which are very different from the one that you thought you fell in love with. This is often when relationships break up. The point of this falling in love projection for genetics is so that you’ll mate and have a baby. Then, if you have limbic bonding with a partner, you’ll stay together long enough to raise the baby. That’s the genetic scheme: have babies, stay together, and raise the babies.

Then you can die and the babies will grow up, have babies, stay together, and die. That’s the purpose: To have family. The purpose of having a family is to continue your genetic lineage. But then you place a cultural overlay on that and romanticize it by calling it: “falling in love.” Someone recently said to me: “I’m so open when I make love with a man. I’m truly there, and I feel betrayed over and over again and I don’t understand why.” It’s very simple. You feel betrayed because you’re calling it “making love.” You’re not making love—you’re having sex. It may feel good and pleasurable, and there may be some emotional bonding in it, but that emotional bonding can be broken. When the bonding is broken, it’s painful. This is where suffering comes from. When the emotional bonds of the limbic brain are broken, it causes pain to both ends of the emotional connection. That’s where our suffering comes from.

Different cultures deal with sexual cheating, of course, in different ways. In some cultures, you get stoned to death. The reason for stoning a person (usually, a woman) to death is to establish paternity, so that the man knows he’s bringing food home to his genes. The point is to pass on my genes, and I will protect my genes because I want my genes to grow and proliferate. Since it’s all about the genes, paternity is really important. There’s a beautiful movie that David Attenborough does; it’s a great nature film called “The Life of Birds” (1998). And there’s an English Barn Swallow that’s supposed to be monogamous, but cheats. When the partner isn’t around, the female will have other lovers or sexual partners. When the male comes back, he pecks at her sex organs until she ejects the semen of the one she just had sex with. Then he’ll mount her and make sure his semen is inside of her. That’s all about making sure you’re taking care of your own babies. But since the one she cheated with thinks it’s his, he’ll also provide food to the nest. This is a genetic advantage. In cheating, she’s bringing in multiple fathers to provide for her children, which is a genetic advantage. And he’s making sure it’s his by pecking at her until she ejects the semen. That’s the brilliance of nature.

One of the most interesting cultural patterns around sex that I’ve seen is in a book called: Don’t Sleep, There Are Snakes (2008) by Daniel L. Everett. It’s a book about a tribe in the Amazon that hasn’t had much contact at all with the industrialized world and has been living very simply and basically for thousands of years. A missionary visits this tribe to create a dictionary of their language in order to write a bible to convert them to Christianity. In his ten years of studying the tribe and attempting to figure out their unique language, the missionary ends up realizing that they have a better life than any Christian he knows; they are happier and better adjusted and so he gives up Christianity. One day, the missionary visits his friend’s house and his friend is lying with his head in his wife’s lap. When the missionary’s friend tries to pick his head up, his wife pulls him back down and laughs and hits him with a little club—not to hurt him, but just to hit him and they both laugh.

It turns out that the missionary’s friend made love with another woman and this happens a lot in this tribe. Sometimes it doesn’t matter, it just gets passed over. But if it does matter, in this case it did, she holds him all day in her lap and every time he tries to move, she hits him. Sometimes she hits him in the face and sometimes in the body—never to hurt him, but just to hit him, and they both laugh. And after a day of this, it’s over and they go on about their lives. That’s the way one culture deals with cheating or infidelity.

Our monogamy or lack of monogamy is genetic. Some creatures are genetically wired for monogamy and others aren’t. There was a study done in the Western United States about a creature called the “vole,” which lives in little prairie holes in the ground. And there are two kinds of voles: there are mountain voles and prairie voles. One of these voles is monogamous and the male will stay around and help raise the family. The other type of vole is not monogamous. The male does not stick around and doesn’t raise the family. But they’re two different subsets of the same species. When they took the genetic information from one vole and put it into the other, it switched: the one that was monogamous was no longer monogamous and the one that wasn’t monogamous became monogamous. It was a genetic piece of DNA that made the difference. So some of us are wired for monogamy and some of us aren’t.

Monogamy has become a morality issue rather than an emotional issue; morality has nothing to do with it. It’s really about not causing pain or suffering. I was leading a group recently, and I asked everyone in the group to stand up if they’ve ever masturbated. The whole group stood up. Then I said: “If you’ve ever had sex with more than one partner, stand up.” The whole group stood up. A hundred years ago, nobody would admit masturbating and having sex with more than one partner, if they did, and most of them hadn’t. This has changed because the culture has changed. I also asked them: “How many people have had partners that were the same sex?” Many people stood up. Your sexual orientation is also genetic. Many cultures celebrate genetic, cultural, sexual diversity. In some cultures, gay men are considered closer to spirit and have different gifts. In our culture, Christians tried to make sexual orientation into a morality and behavioral issue, but our sexual orientation is genetic. We know that now and the culture is much more accepting of same sex relationships. So this is a huge change in our society and in our cultural understanding.

But what does this discussion of sexual orientation, culture, and genetics have to do with anything? Well, it shows how cultural norms of morality or social correctness are culturally constructed—meaning they’re completely made up. Everything we’ve piled on top of genetic reproduction is just a story we’re telling—it’s a story we’ve been conditioned to tell based upon our cultural upbringing, heritage, and educational systems. Different cultures, of course, tell different stories and have different outcomes. When my partner and I first met (this is our fortieth year together), we never expected that we would end up as we have. We met at a party in Berkeley in 1975. I was 28 years old and living with a woman who I had an open relationship with. The woman I was living with, at the time, brought her lover to this party and he brought a date. I certainly wanted to make love with his date, and so I did my courtship ritual: I followed her around the party, reciting my poetry to her and she didn’t get it. She thought: “This kid in overalls who looks like Jerry Garcia keeps following me around, reciting poetry that I don’t understand.” But in those days, everyone was making love. Everyone was making love and so we had sex and it was very good.

Our sexual relationship brought us together initially, and then it deepened. Then she fell in love, and eventually, I fell in love, and the great good luck of our relationship is that we didn’t match each other’s ideal. I wasn’t what she was looking for in a man in any way in: size, shape, personality, or appearance. And she’s wasn’t what I would have been looking for as I wasn’t looking for a mate. I knew I wasn’t going to have children. I was a confirmed bachelor, you could say, and I was very happy living a solitary life. I was on a spiritual mission and I didn’t want to be dragged down or have to carry someone else along with me. I didn’t want to have kids or a relationship. I was one-pointed in my direction, but when I fell in love, and when she fell in love, we fell in love with something deeper than the surface. It wasn’t her body that I fell in love with, although it was beautiful and it wasn’t her personality—it was her soul. I could see her soul through her eyes and she saw mine. And this is how we’ve stayed together for forty years.

Our bodies and personalities have changed and we’ve had our ups and downs. We’ve tried an open relationship and what was interesting in the open relationship (I was, of course, the one who promoted it) was that when she would have another lover, I would feel jealous. I didn’t want to feel jealous as it wasn’t politically correct to feel jealous, since I promoted open relationships and wanted her to have other lovers so I could. But I could feel the pain of her having sex with somebody else. That was the first inkling I had that there was something deeper going on here: that we had a limbic emotional connection that wasn’t in the consciousness mind. Even though my conscious mind knew better than to feel jealous, I felt jealous anyway. That was our first clue, you could say.

As our relationship and partnership matured, we were willing to tell the truth to each other. This isn’t the same thing as “working on our relationship,” which some people talk about. I’m not even sure what that means. In being willing to tell the truth to each other, as hard as it was, it allowed something deeper to open. What we noticed was: if we started to carry resentments, we would build up a story that we weren’t telling the other, but we’re telling ourselves. You know what I’m talking about. You wouldn’t say or tell the story out loud, but you kind of felt it, thought it, and then hid it. You pretended the story wasn’t there. When that would build up, there would be friction and the fights would happen, never about that, but about something inconsequential. And the inconsequential fights were a signal that there’s something else going on here, so we would sit down together and uncover it—we would tell the truth to each other.

We would divulge what the secret behind the story was and hear it without judgment. This was one of the great good luck things that happened for us. One person would say everything that they didn’t like, for ten minutes and then then other person would say everything they didn’t like about the other for about the same amount of time. Then we would switch: sharing everything you do like and everything you don’t like with no comments and no justifications. When my partner would say something she didn’t like about me, the tendency would be to say: “Yeah, but…” or “No, well…”, but we didn’t do that. Instead, we just let it sit, so that it could be expressed and that was so useful. This is all secondary though. The true teaching is in the bigger mission we had both taken on, as my partner had taken on my mission for freedom by this point. The mission: to bring the world to peace and to find true freedom. She said to me: “We have a bigger mission here and we can’t waste our time and our energy on all this emotional upset.” She was right. All the acting out and all the sexual stuff was distracting us from our essential purpose in life.

This is really where the question of sex and spirituality comes in. Sex is not spiritual and it’s not not-spiritual. It really has nothing to do with that. But sex can be a useful tool or it can be an impediment. If your sexual emotional upsets are useful, you use them to penetrate the truth, to see more deeply into who’s here and who’s invested in what: what you want, what you’re trying to get, and what you’re avoiding. In this way, sexuality can be a teaching tool. If, on the other hand, it becomes the distraction of your life and you spend all of your time and energy on emotional and sexual warfare—you’ve distracted yourself from life and from the bigger picture. You’re staying very small.

The question here is really about identity. The real question is: Who’s making love? “Making love,” we know, doesn’t really work; it’s not an accurate term for what’s happening. If you examine: Who’s making love? And then you say: “Oh, nobody, there’s no one here”—it’s not that. It’s not: nobody, there’s no one here. It’s: Who’s making love? I am. What do I want? What am I trying to get or keep? And what am I trying to keep away? This is where we examine ourselves. This is where character develops and this is the possibility. Sex or no sex—it really doesn’t matter. Celibacy never brought anyone to Enlightenment. I was very lucky when I met my teacher, Papaji; my sex chakra closed down and for twelve years I was celibate. I loved it. All the energy that had gone into my sexual stuff went into service of my teacher. It was blissful. I loved it! And then it ended as all states end, but it showed me something. It showed me the possibility of using our energy to focus on something more important than our own personal desires and projections.

So here we are: our old world order is collapsing and our society has collapsed. It started with Kennedy’s assassination and the loss of the Vietnam War, which was never acknowledged in the American psyche. Something I notice when I’m in Germany is that the German people have had to confront Nazism in their family and in themselves. And in that, there’s been a deepening of a deepening. In American culture, in never having come to terms with Vietnam, the culture was wounded and it festered. Then you have the Reagan right-wing counter-revolution against the humanist uprising that was happening in America. Reagan brings in the “Greed is good” philosophy that inevitably leads us to the demagogue of Donald Trump, a sexual misogynist. Whether Donald Trump wins or loses, it’s a signal. Not only is it a signal of the decline, but it’s accelerating the decline. It’s accelerating the fragmentation of our culture. And that’s painful and horrifying, but it’s also the opening of something new that can be born. This is where you come in.

As we said in the 60s: “Will you be part of the problem or part of the solution?” To be part of the solution is the willingness to give yourself fully to the investigation of who you are, where you are, and what you are. You’re here to give yourself fully to the service of life, mother earth, and love. This service makes sense of everything. From the one-celled being, to your life, and to my life—it can all end here in love. Otherwise, it’s an endless cycle of reproduction and death. The world is not sustainable this way. Who knows how much longer human life has left? The dinosaurs died out and life continued. We know there have been other catastrophes where most of the life forms on earth got wiped out, but life continued. If human life gets wiped out, the earth will continue. This is a brief moment we have, and we don’t know how much time we have left. What will you give it and to how will you serve? That’s really what we’re here for.

If your sexual stuff is taking up your time and energy, check it out. See if it’s worth it. Cause really, that’s all I’m interested in. I don’t care what your sexual orientation is or what your sexual practices might be. I only care that you find out Who You Are and that you give yourself to the truth of yourself, so you can be free. Your freedom means one less spot of suffering on mother earth.

Let’s open this up to questions:

Participant: Hello, Eli.

Eli: Hello and can you hear me?

P: Yes. First of all, thank you so much for these calls. They’re giving such clarity. I really love them. It’s a great experience and great gift to be connected. Thank you so much.

E: Thank you

P: You’ve talked about love relationships and I’m a bit confused at this moment about relationships. I had a very confusing relationship that was not very satisfying and I ended this relationship. Now I wish to have a more mature, honest, and deeper relationship with a woman. Recently, I had the experience of meeting someone and I noticed these dating rituals that are so deeply ingrained in the culture and I feel that they’re so wrong and untrue, but I couldn’t bring up my own truth with her. I feel lost because I haven’t been honest, and on one hand, I wish to have a mature, honest, and deep relationship.

E: What if you have a mature, honest, and deep relationship with yourself first? That’s a challenge. Until you have that, why waste your time anywhere else? You see, you find your exact reflection in your sexual partner. They will be just as neurotic as you are. They will be just as hung up as you are. So clean up your own act first. Have your own deep, honest, and truthful loving relationship with yourself – then you don’t have to look for it outside. Whatever’s appropriate will come to you. That’s the problem of our world: that we chase objects on the outside. In the grossest sense, you have Donald Trump chasing objects that he calls women – disgusting. But it’s really not much different from what everybody else is doing. I want a deeper and more honest relationship and I go chasing it. What you’re going to find is your own neurosis mirrored back to you. So why not finish it inside?

Why not be so deeply transparent to yourself, so deeply honest with yourself, that you don’t need anything else? If you don’t need anything else from the outside, if you’re already fulfilled, then that’s what you’ll meet. Then you’ll meet others who are in the same condition. That’s what will be attractive to you and that’s what will attract you to them. Otherwise, what gets attracted are the mating combinations of ego. It’s clear?

P: Yeah, yeah.

E: So if you say you have difficulty being honest and open with yourself, why would you expect it to be easy with someone else? What is a good step in this path? The first step is: you look within. Meet yourself for the first time. Have a first date with yourself and see who you are and what you want. See what’s real. See what’s deep, true, and honest and see what isn’t. See what’s shallow, lying, and confused. All confusion is a mental state. True love is not confused, but in the mental state of trying to do something, there’s suffering and confusion. You can’t have confusion without thoughts. As long as you’re having thoughts about it, you’re not living life; you’re living your thoughts. And then you’re hormonally attracted to others who will do a mating dance with that.

P: Thank you.

E: I’m so glad you called. It’s very clear for everybody and it’s beautiful. Thank you for being honest with us. This was an honest and beautiful relationship. It served you and it served us, so thank you for your honesty.

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A second participant shares: My heart just wanted to say how much I appreciate what you just said. I really sense the truth in it. I was divorced a few years ago and I have not been with anyone since. There’s been a tremendous amount of peace, largely thanks to you and Gangaji. I guess I found that I’m more productive and my energy hasn’t been spent on the emotional drama that you mentioned. I also really appreciate your sharing what Papaji said about sex as the drive for the continuation of the human species, and there was a recognition of that as you described it. There’s actually been a lot of contentment without wanting to meet someone. I really appreciate your and Gangaji’s support with that over the last few years.

E: So beautiful.

P: I noticed something this morning when I happened to see my ex-husband and he mentioned that he was looking to meet someone or mentioned that he was finding other women attractive, I felt this emotional pang. I felt the limbic bonding that you mentioned. Yes, so I’m still just kind of being with that. In some moments, I’m trying to see through it and in other moments, I feel completely caught by it.

E: When you’re completely caught by it, bear it. Don’t try to fix it by making it go away or by seeing through it—just bear it. And you’ll find that the wounding of the limbic bond that you had with your partner, in bearing it, it burns up and something deeper is revealed. If you try to fix it and make it go away, that’s putting a Band-Aid on it and maybe it’ll go away and maybe it won’t, but you can actually use it well. You’re not going to die from it and you don’t have to do anything about it. The emotional wound has nothing to do with you and yet it does because it’s your emotional wound. The way to use your emotional wound productively is to bear it, which means you welcome it: “Okay, I feel jealous that my partner’s now looking at other women. I feel jealous that he wants somebody else.” Whatever it is and whatever the words are around it, you bear the pain of it without the story of it.

If you bear it, it’s like a fire. It’s a limbic fire, and when it burns up, it releases, and in the release, it breaks, and in breaking, there’s openness. When you’re completely broken, you’re completely open and when you’re completely open, you’re free.

P: Thank you. Thank you so much. I was opening to some degree as you were speaking and you’re absolutely right—it’s my emotional wound. What came up for me was that I wasn’t going to exist: the fear of death was basically under the jealousy or whatever was on the surface.

E: Yes, beautiful. Don’t stop there, that’s so great. When you’re willing to bear nonexistence, this is completely open. This is complete freedom. If you don’t have to be somebody—what a gift that is; it’s so rare in this world.

P: Thank you so much, Eli.

E: I’m so glad. Thank you so much for sharing with us. It serves everybody. Speak to you later.

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Another participant asks: Hello, Eli, can you hear me?

E: I can.

P: Good. I have what everybody keeps telling me is a dream life and I get that and I live in a beautiful place. There is this thing I heard last night when I went to a beautiful kirtan. What I heard is that: “We get everything, but there’s one thing that we still want. We forget all about the others and we crave this one thing.” I don’t forget about how blessed I am, but this other thing keeps grasping for me and I keep grasping for it, at times: it’s to have a relationship. There’s a desire to feel companionship, love, and caring within a relationship. I’ve been with myself for quite some time and I love myself now and I wish I could be at peace with this other longing. I would like to let it go or let it be all right just to be with me. But it just keeps coming and coming and it sometimes takes me over.

E: What’s really going on here? Forget the idea that you know yourself and that you never forget yourself—that’s ridiculous. That’s a concept you have. What is it when you say: this desire comes over you and overwhelms you? Who is it that gets overwhelmed? Who gets overwhelmed is this needy person who wants companionship, and I appreciate that. We’re social animals and we love having companions, some more than others. That’s the animal instinct and that’s okay. Really, what it’s driving you to: is to have a relationship with yourself, a true and deep one. One that is so loving, so compassionate, so gentle, and so kind, that you don’t need anything else. When you don’t need anything else, you will be healed of your neurotic drive for something else. Then you will actually attract what it is you’re searching for. You’ll find someone else in the same situation. Otherwise, you’ll find someone else in the same condition that you are: A hungry, needy, somebody looking for shelter from the storm. The two of you will get together because you have a mutual need and it won’t last. That’s the experience, right? It’s beautiful when you say: “Okay, I’ve had enough. I don’t want to do that again.” But you also have to surrender deeply to the love of yourself.

You have to become a bride for yourself. You have to become so pure and holy or so immaculate for yourself that you’re drawn into the depths of yourself. Then you’ll have this love affair that you’ve never experienced in your whole life. It’s a love affair from your soul that is so fulfilled and so caring and loving that all the wounds are healed. Then you won’t care if it happens. Whatever happens, happens, and it will be okay. At this stage, you’ll find others that are like that. Then you’ll find someone else who is also fulfilled and happy and doesn’t care if they ever have a relationship because they don’t need anybody. Then you’ll find a perfect partner. That’s my marriage advice: start by marrying yourself.

P: Yes, a few months ago, I was tested in that. Somebody came along and he was very loving and kind and I truly felt his soul, but he wasn’t in the same place as me and I actually did let him go because he wasn’t in the same place.

E: Where that man was is where you are. He was just as needy and he was just as flawed. He was just as neurotic and so you have to be able to start at home. You have to be able to do it for yourself first. Otherwise, what you’ll attract is the same thing that you’re putting out. That’s what we do.

P: Yeah, but how do I do that? I’ve been sitting with myself for some time.

E: You’re not quite getting it. You believe you already know yourself and that you never leave yourself. That’s what you started with. Forget all that. Start with this longing for something else. This longing is a longing for home—make it your life. Give yourself to this longing, not for somebody outside yourself, but for the True Beloved. Give yourself fully to this longing for the Beloved and surrender into yourself, and then you’ll find yourself and life will begin. Okay?

P: Yes, thank you.

E: Thank you. I’ll see you in a few weeks.

P: Yes, I’ll see you soon. Thank you, Eli.

E: Oh, thank you, dear. It’s good to hear your voice. Bye

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A final participant asks: Hello, Eli. I have a question. You said to the last participant: “Start by marrying yourself.” And so I have questions: Does that mean renounce sex or does it mean sit alone at home?

E: It means whatever it takes. It means to be willing for whatever it takes. You’re already trying to make a deal. Should I do this? Should I do that? Then I can keep this, so I won’t have to do that.

P: Yes, I want to have a plan

E: Yeah, there’s no plan. It’s whatever it takes. Who knows what it will take?

P: So, I don’t know it?

E: Before I went to meet Papaji, I examined myself. I didn’t know who I was going to find, but I knew I was off to find a teacher—a final teacher. I had to really examine myself: What am I not willing to give? And I looked at my life: Sexuality, yeah, I can give my sex. I would say chocolate and marijuana were maybe harder than sex. I looked at it all and asked myself: What am I attached to? What am I not willing to give? The only thing I really came up with was: I wasn’t willing to give my love for my partner. And then I really examined that and said, okay: if it meant her liberation, I could give it. But I couldn’t give my love for my partner if it just meant my liberation.

Of course, when I met my teacher, he said: “How can you give up love? It’s your nature.” And as for the rest, it didn’t matter. I told him: “You know, Papaji, I smoke grass.” And I thought he’d say: “Okay, stop.” I was willing to stop. He said: “Oh, so does Shiva.” I never expected that answer. How beautiful. It’s being willing for everything—being willing for everything with no plan. Then you’ll see what’s required. Whatever the requirement is, you’re willing.

P: So sex doesn’t have to stop?

E: Sex doesn’t have to stop, but the dependency on sex or attachment to sex may have to stop. This is still trying to make a deal about how it’s going work. Who knows how it will work?

P: Oh, okay, I got it. Thank you.

E: Yes. Thank you. It’s good to hear your voice, dear. Choose the unfathomable beauty of surrendering to yourself. It’s not that you have to be celibate, or that you have to stop this, or that you can’t do this. There are no rules and no “shoulds”. There are no requirements. The only requirement is the willingness for whatever it takes. That’s it. You don’t know nor do you have to know how to do it. You don’t have to know anything. You only have to be willing. If you’re willing for whatever it takes, this is consciousness as an unstoppable force. If it takes death, so be it. If it takes no sex, so be it. If it takes no relationship, so be it. If it takes poverty, so be it. If it takes wealth, so be it. If it takes more sex, so be it. Whatever it takes: You just offer everything to love and see what love takes. See what’s required. Who knows? It’s a mystery. It’s a divine mystery of love.

You can’t make love, but you can be love. You can’t make love, but you can surrender to love. You can’t make love, but you can give yourself so fully to love that love eats and absorbs you. When you’re eaten by love, what could you be but love? You look out through love’s eyes and you see that the world is love, and then life begins. This is your time and your moment. I’m so glad you’re here for this. Thank you everybody who’s on this call. We’re connected all over the world in this moment and we all have the same good heart, the same loving truth of ourselves, and the same True Nature. It’s called “Buddha Nature” or “Awakened Consciousness.” Whatever name you give it: Unnamable, Unfathomable, Timeless, or Formless—that’s what you are and who you are. If you’re willing to give yourself to your True Nature, you merge into yourself and then you are yourself, quite naturally. The world is a better place for it, so thank you so much for being here.

May all beings be happy and free! Thank you.


“When you can recognize who you are not, then there is a possibility to wake up and discover who you really are.”