Uncovering Self-Betrayal (Enneagram) Retreat
with Gangaji and Eli
Esalen Institute - Big Sur, California
March 19 - 24, 2006

Over the years of meeting with people, we have both had the experience of watching moments of true understanding blossom. We have witnessed moments of expansion and recognition of oneself, infinitely more than what is confined to an individual body-mind. The mind activity that arises after this experience of realization and claims the realization as “mine,” is self-betrayal.

By self-betrayal, we mean betraying your true self by serving the false self. The true self is a limitless expanse of conscious intelligence. The false self is who you think yourself to be, either grand or low. This false self, which calls itself “myself,” is based in ignorance, fear, and greed. As long as you are serving egoic selfishness in the name of security, comfort, or pleasure, you are betraying the pure loving intelligence that is the true self. As long as you are following particular thoughts in your mind instead of love--as long as you believe the voices in your head instead of the clarity of open consciousness--you are betraying yourself.

To be established in the truth of yourself, you must be willing to see the lies and false identity that have been running your whole life. The Enneagram provides the precise structure of the knot of ego. Awareness is the sword, and the Enneagram shows the knot that needs to be cut. The Enneagram shows how the ego veils true essence. The purpose of learning one’s egoic structure is not to become a better ego, but to wake up to one’s true nature and stop all false identification.
The Enneagram reveals how we have falsely identified ourselves as the physical, emotional, and mental bodies. The core identification is the unexamined belief, “I am somebody.” Once this thought arises, the ego becomes crystallized in the mind, and consciousness experiences itself as limited.

The first limitation is the sense that who one is, is inside, and who one is not, is outside. This identification as an object in space that is called me or myself is based on a very narrow perception of self. The Enneagram clearly describes the nine variations of the basic belief that one is a limited and separate body. Once these patterns of subconscious identification are brought to light, they can be discarded in the search for true I.

In our Uncovering Self-Betrayal retreats, we point to these traps and subconscious tendencies of mind that pull one back into misidentification, so that the eternal silent truth of oneself can be revealed. In this way, enlightenment or self-realization is possible.

*Attendance at an Uncovering Self-Betrayal Retreat is a prerequisite for attending the Core Retreat. See also the LeelaSchool Schedule for more Uncovering Self-Betrayal Retreats.